Wizards Playoff Hopes Are Coaster Thin | Malcolm Johnson on the Big Picture | Deep Dive on Beal’s Pointed Comments

Today on ZardCast, CT, Dave and Malcolm Johnson convene to discuss the Wizards season basically coming to an end with a loss to the Kings. Malcolm poses the question, how much differently would we really view Washington if they made the playoffs? Plus: High pitched screams over the ghastly loss to the Timberwolves, not caring about Kobe Bryant retiring, Randy Wittman’s sports bar being the most Randy Wittman thing ever, a deep dive on Bradley Beal’s comments after the Sacramento game, and finally a bit of Pop Culture Detour with The Walking Dead and The People vs. OJ Simpson coming to an end this next week.

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Topics discussed include:

  • Malcolm joins the pod over the phone
  • So it’s all over, right?
  • Malcolm says who cares about making the playoffs?Would we really view them in that different of a light?Would it really be good for the team?
  • The guys sold themselves on the hype before the season. How naive they were
  • Randy Wittman has to go. Will Ernie Grunfeld survive? He doesn’t deserve to
  • Does either Ernie or a potential-new general manager keep Bradley Beal? The guys agree there’s no choice but to sign him
  • What’s Bradley Beal’s and John Wall’s relationship like? We don’t really hear about the team’s interactions day-to-day
  • Malcolm’s really enjoyed watching Wall’s continued maturation as a player
  • Wall isn’t the vocal leader and he really doesn’t have to be. There is a huge void in the leadership role without Paul Pierce this year
  • The guys talk about player leadership, but they need new leadership at the coaching position
  • Dave screams in horror before talking about last week’s Minnesota Timberwolves game
  • Return of the fun game: What were you doing instead of watching the Wizards shit themselves?
  • CT doesn’t care about Kobe Bryant retiring. Dave thinks he’s made a mockery of himself this season
  • Not the worst showing against a team that’s aiming to be the best ever in the regular season. Unfortunately it was at the worst possible point in the season
  • Randy Wittman owning a sports bar with Craig Segar and Doc Rivers called Jocks and Jills has to be the best thing about Randy Wittman
  • The Wizards look dysfunctional and lose to one of the most dysfunctional teams in league in the Sacramento Kings
  • The guys do a deep dive on Beal’s post-game comments, Marcin Gortat’s tweet at Hoop District and Beal’s brother sounding off on the whole thing as well
  • Were his criticisms fair? Did he really own those criticisms or was he putting them more on his teammates? Can he say this stuff considering how much he’s been injured this year? Why does Gortat always get shit on?
  • Dave compares turning off the Kings game and giving up on the season like dropping a class in college
  • This Week in John Wall
  • The guys are glad no one’s turned on John this year. A lot of times fans turn on the best player of a team when things are going bad
  • Pop Culture Detour: The Walking Dead and The People vs. OJ Simpson finales are this week

Wizards Winners of 5 Straight, Stuart from Long Island on the Knicks, Duncan Uses Stickum

Today on ZardCast, the guys convene to discuss the Washington Wizards five-game winning streak, including a solid win over the Atlanta Hawks on the road. Later, Stuart from Long Island calls in to complain about the New York Knicks.

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Topics discussed include:

  • Things are looking up, Wizards are winners are winners of five straight
  • Duncan projects the Wizards to go 10-2 over their final 12, looking at the Detroit Pistons and Chicago Bulls schedules
  • Vacuum basketball league, the guys would like to have their friend’s baby on the podcast to talk Wizards ASAP
  • Wizards beat the New York Knicks, Markieff Morris shuts down Carmelo Anthony in the second half
  • Morris looking great overall, could be a bigger part of the offense next season
  • Stuart from Plainview calls in to discuss the state of the Knicks, praises Randy Wittman for putting Morris on Melo
  • Kristaps Porzingis is the main attraction for him, thinks Kurt Rambis’ idea for him to play under the basket is preposterous. Stuart says if Phil Jackson coaches home games he’ll renounce his fandom
  • Stuart reviews his partial-season ticket experience at the Verizon Center, says Saturday’s Knicks game was 70% New York fans
  • Washington beats the Atlanta Hawks, best team the Wizards have taken down this side of the All Star break – the big victory over the Pistons was the best win
  • John Wall and Bradley Beal go bananas, Otto Porter has a huge first half
  • Atlanta’s system is weird, kind of like playing a European team
  • CT loves the Wizards more than Fall Out Boy
  • Duncan cops to using Stickum while podcasting, Dave gets upset
  • “This Week in John Wall”
  • Dave drinks 70 margaritas, misses the San Antonio Spurs-Golden State Warriors game
  • Duncan and CT’s brackets are in terrible shape, so is Duncan’s mom
  • The guys predict the Wizards will go 4-1
  • Pop Culture Detour on Batman v. Superman

“You’re Being a Real Roy Hibbert” | TAI’s Conor Dirks on the Most #SoWizards Moment This Season

Today on ZardCast, the guys are joined by Conor Dirks from Truth About It to discuss the Wizards playoff hopes, Randy Wittman’s lack of awareness and the most #SoWizards moment of the season. Plus, a collapse out west, smashing the Bulls and Pistons at home, Wall’s back-to-back triple doubles and Seamus the leprechaun.

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Topics discussed include:

  • CT and Dave hold down the pod tonight
  • Getting into the second half collapse against the Philadelphia
  • The guys discuss the Wizards as a frog in a gradually heating pot, CT is confused as to why the frog wouldn’t hop out
  • Wizards look hopeless against Utah and Denver, super demoralizing
  • Conor Dirks from TruthAboutIt.net joins the pod, tying his Pixel and Roll appearances
  • The Wizards technically won, but the guys don’t feel good
  • Conor has an issue with playoff percentages that get published every day, but doesn’t think they’ll be in anyway
  • Randy Wittman vs. Ernie Grunfeld – who is more terrible?
  • It’s gotta be Wittman. He recently blamed the players for not telling him they were getting torched by the pick and roll
  • It’s insane how much of a dick Wittman is to Marcin Gortat
  • The Wizards are most likely going to give Bradley Beal the max, a lot of people thought John Wall wasn’t worth it before the Wizards gave him a new contract. Washington should wait, either, otherwise he might spend all next season pissed off
  • Not protecting the first round draft pick in the Markieff Morris trade is Conor’s top #SoWizards moment of the season
  • One of the worst scoring teams in the Utah Jazz put up 114 on the Wizards
  • Fortunately CT and Dave had other things to do over the weekend than watch these awful basketball games
  • The Wizards blow the Nuggets game in the fourth quarter against a bunch of no names not trying to win games
  • The guys had a raucous Saturday night, glad they both woke up and everything was cool
  • “You’re Being a Real Roy Hibbert”
  • D.C. able to mash the Detroit Pistons at home. The Wizards should run the John Wall pick and roll every play for a quarter and just see what happens
  • Always fun to beat the Chicago Bulls. Nene is the matador in the sense that he stabs the bull in the neck, not so much the dancing around, poor defense kind
  • Duncan had to duck down to Puerto Rico to check on his businesses, will return next week
  • The guys call their leprechaun friend Seamus, he highlights the plight of the modern day leprechaun
  • RIP to the Wizards’ seventh seed hopes
  • “This Week in John Wall”
  • Ted Leonsis teams up with Gene Simmons to bring arena league football to D.C.

Boat Racing, NBA Teams as Presidential Candidates, Pelvic Whacking, Dave After Dark

Today on ZardCast, the guys convene to discuss the Wizards three-game losing streak, what it means to their playoff hopes, NBA teams as presidential candidates, a spicy episode of “Dave After Dark” that was too hot to air, Pop Culture Detour and much more.

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Topics discussed include:

  • CT explains the term “boat racing” to Dave and Duncan
  • Wizards lose three in a row, playoff hopes are slowly unraveling. Can they still make it?
  • Losing to the Chicago Bulls,
  • If the Wizards are the Marco Rubio of the NBA, the Cleveland Cavaliers are Donald Trump, the Toronto Raptors are Ted Cruz and the Golden State Warriors are Hillary Clinton
  • After beating the Cavaliers in Washington, it seemed inevitable that LeBron James would would whack the Wizards in Ohio
  • CT and Duncan watched the Indiana Pacers game at Matchbox, CT awkwardly watches the end of the match over a booth divider. Dave can’t get a bartender to change the channel from UNC-Duke to the Wizards
  • Pelvic whacking
  • Dave is frustrated by the lack information on Bradley Beal’s injuries, and overall with the lack of information from the organization on where these guys stand
  • Breaking down what went wrong down the stretch against the Pacers
  • Perplexing that Marcin Gortat wasn’t in at the end of the game, the pick and roll with he and John Wall is their best play. Plus, Gortat is the second best player on the team. How can he sit in crucial situations?
  • Wizards have a chance at the end, Wall takes a bad shot
  • Dave recorded a spicy episode of “Dave After Dark” after the Portland game, but iTunes and the FCC have since gotten involved. It might not ever see the light of day
  • The Wizards losing in the middle of the night to the Portland Trailblazers was like a bad trip
  • Buck was so mad the refs missed a six second violation on an inbounds pass at the end of the game
  • The guys hate Gerald Henderson. How the hell did Alan Anderson get tossed at all, and in what world does Henderson not get tossed too
  • Gary Neal waived, Marcus Thornton picked up. He’s basically the same player as Neal. Again, due to lack of information, we don’t know what ailed Neal or how severe it was
  • Looking at the Eastern Conference standings
  • Looking ahead to the next three, the guys all agree the Wizards will go 3-0
  • Pop Culture Detour
  • Discussing the new Game of Thrones trailer
  • The guys all like “Better Call Saul,” Dave hates Jimmy’s brother for being allergic to electricity. Does knowing the endgame with Mike and Jimmy make the show any less interesting?
  • Dinosaur Detour

Wizards Winners of 4 Straight, Lebron is Scared of Otto, How the Elite Does Laundry, Pop Culture and Dino Detours

Today on ZardCast, CT, Dave and Duncan convene to discuss the Wizards four-game winning streak, if Lebron James is scared of Otto Porter, John Wall closing games, Pop Culture Detours, a Dinosaur Detour, how the elite does their laundry, drama between Dave and Duncan over QuizUp, and much more.

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Topics discussed include:

  • The guys reminisce on their terrible kickball team
  • The Wizards are on a four-game winning streak, made it to .500
  • Dave’s excited to root hard against the teams in direct competition with Washington
  • Zards take out the 76ers on the road
  • Duncan finally sees the latest Star Wars, just finished watching the previous films with his girlfriend
  • Nice to see the team shore things up defensively, they’re normally going to be able to score enough points to win
  • Adding Alan Anderson and Markieff Morris has been a helpful development
  • Is Lebron James scared of Otto Porter? That’s most likely why he didn’t play on Sunday
  • The guys are enjoying all of the Cavaliers bullshit being stirred up
  • While the recording the podcast, PTI gives a Not So Happy Anniversary to Otto Porter’s brain-neutral defensive lap against the Bulls last year
  • Bradley Beal wears his mask again against the Timberwolves
  • Another Pop Culture Detour with Dave discussing “Hail Caesar”
  • Shout out to @PreacherBBall and @AndrewKim_47 for helping us out in defining irony
  • Wizards are able to dominate Cleveland, even with Kevin Love and Kyrie Irving
  • Lebron is subtweeting and driving America crazy
  • Dinosaur Detour as Dave tells the guys velociraptors were actually the size of chickens
  • Why do Boston fans always weave their teams into every conversation?
  • Infuriating game against Philadelphia on Monday night until John Wall took over
  • CT gets his dry cleaning picked up and dropped off, Dave and Duncan grill him on it and accuse him of stealing someone’s clothes
  • Dave and Duncan want to unionize against CT
  • Wall starting to drag his team over the finish line more often
  • Morris makes his first start, Marcin Gortat has a career night rebounding
  • Wizards able to take care of the Timberwolves behind a big game from Beal, Alan Anderson scores 18 as well
  • Why has Garrett Temple been starting over Beal when they’ve been playing similar minutes?
  • Porter and Gortat don’t see the floor in the fourth quarter against Minnesota. That’s the magic of Randy Wittman
  • Looking at the Eastern Conference standings
  • Is anyone worried about facing the Raptors should the Wizards grab the seven seed?
  • “This Week in John Wall”
  • Looking at the next three games, at Cleveland, home against Indiana, at Portland
  • Dave and Duncan’s QuizUp drama

Ironic or Coincidental?

Today on ZardCast, the guys return to talk about the Washington Wizards big move for Markieff Morris at the trade deadline, an up-and-down start after the All Star break, Garrett Temple’s Temple Run, a packed “This Week in John Wall” and much more.

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Topics discussed include:

  • The guys are back! They took off a week for the All Star Game, CT was in Florida this week
  • The Wizards are players at the trade deadline once again, bringing in Markieff Morris
  • Erinie Grunfeld disrespects the draft
  • Washington signs J.J. Hickson. The guys know nothing about him, but he’s not DeJuan Blair so it’s ok
  • CT doesn’t remember watching the Utah Jazz game, was engrossed by a Terps loss instead. Dave doesn’t remember a whole lot either
  • It was ironic and coincidental that Markieff played his brother Marcus Morris in his first game for the Wizards
  • Which parts of the Alan Morrisette song “Ironic” is actually irony
  • CT overreacts to the Zards losing to Miami on Twitter, but still mostly stands by his overreaction
  • Wizards beat the Pelicans. New Orleans is garbage. John Wall able to notch a triple double on a poor shooting night
  • Facing an undermanned Chicago Bulls team, Washington blows it. Can’t have another loss like that the rest of the way
  • What’s up with Randy Wittman’s funky starting lineup? Brad Beal needs to start, as does Markieff Morris
  • Garrett Temple has at least one Temple Run every game. His game is not meant for the Eurostep
  • Running through the Eastern Conference standings
  • Stringing wins together has long been a problem for Randy Wittman teams
  • Randy’s speeches in the locker room probably sound garbled
  • Alan Anderson returns!
  • This Week in John Wall
  • Dave reveals he worked at Chick-fil-a, McDonald’s either only has the muffins or the chicken biscuit all day — Never both
  • Discussing Wall’s comments on the crowd going wild for the free chicken sandwiches
  • Interesting nuggets from the Michael Lee piece on John Wall
  • Wall wasn’t a big fan of all the short contracts the Wizards signed during the offseason
  • Dave doesn’t sympathize with him too much after Wall admits he was out of shape the first month of the season
  • The guys are rolling in advertising money

Ben Mehic From Wiz of Awes, Golden State Circus in DC, Just Another Saturday in Charlotte, Podcast Business Meeting Gone Awry

Today on ZardCast, the guys welcome Wiz of Awes Editor Ben Mehic to the show following a win over the New York Knicks to talk about everything wrong with the Washington Wizards including needing star performances from John Wall to beat bad teams. Later, CT and Dave discuss the circus that was Golden State coming to town, John Wall and Steph Curry dueling, a podcast business meeting goes all wrong at the 76ers game and another terrible loss in Charlotte. Plus: Pop Culture Detour on The People vs. OJ Simpson.

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Topics discussed include:

  • The guys convene following a win over the New York Knicks and are joined by Wiz of Awes Editor Ben Mehic
  • Running down a close win over the Knicks that the Wizards nearly blew. It sucks we need superstar performances from John Wall to barely beat bad Eastern Conference teams
  • Ben says there’s no downside to firing Randy Wittman
  • Are you a believer in the narrative that they’ll take advantage of a weak schedule, Alan Anderson coming back and playing well? Ben doesn’t think the Wizards are capable
  • His biggest complaint is Ernie Grunfeld’s roster construction
  • Does Kevin Durant love his cousins?
  • Is uncertainty around Otto Porter a thing? The Wizards just figured out he’s best at the four position
  • Kris Humphries returns from injury, shoots a three
  • Ben says Alan Anderson has the best handshake game
  • Check out Wiz of Awes new podcast, Taking Care of Wizness
  • Golden State Warriors come to town and it’s like the goddamn circus showed up
  • Steph Curry goes nuts and 7 threes, scores 25 in the first quarter. Ends up with 51 total
  • John outplays him for the next three quarters, scoring a season high 41
  • Warriors able to fend off Washington in an entertaining game
  • ZardCast was in the building for the Wizard’s win over Philadelphia
  • CT gets the all you can drink package, Dave and Duncan wanted to utilize the outing to talk business
  • Duncan is heated at CT for not taking things serious, doesn’t post for the podcast
  • John Wall notches a triple double
  • Zards really know how to lose in horrific fashion when in Charlotte, did the same thing back in November
  • Jared Dudley is shooting 47% from three, not invited to the three point challenge during All Star Weekend
  • CT is not watching the NBA All Star game over The Walking Dead
  • “This Week in John Wall” — Dabbling in the John Well
  • Where do you stand on John shooting more jumpers?
  • Pop Culture Detour: Discussing The People vs. OJ Simpson
  • Get over Cuba Gooding Jr. and David Schwimmer already, they’re actors

Internet Beefs, Gross Loss to Denver, One Stop in Houston, Gilbert Arenas as Frank Abagnale for Strip Clubs, Manageable February Schedule?

Today on ZardCast, CT, Dave and Duncan begrudgingly discuss the Washington Wizards as they haven’t been very fun to watch as of late. They start off by addressing Internet drama with a certain Bullets Forever blogger, what they’ll discuss when the season ends prematurely, a gross loss to the Denver Nuggets, a wild win in Houston and being overmatched in Oklahoma City. Later, the podcast gets back to its roots by discussing the young adult fiction genre, Kevin Durant possibly going to the Warriors, Gilbert Arenas as the Frank Abagnale of strip clubs, John Wall’s third All Star Game and a February schedule that looks far more promising than January’s.

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Topics discussed include:

  • Duncan explains his beef with Jake Whitacre
  • The guys throw out ideas for what to do on the podcast whenever the Wizards season is actually over. CT suggests the O.J. Simpson drama, Dave insults the listeners and wants to read his TV pilots
  • Wizards lose a gross one to the Denver Nuggets. Duncan says this was an awful match-up and says no one should’ve watched this
  • Washington wins a wild one in Houston, get ONE defensive stop and hang onto the win
  • Nene and Dwight Howard are both ejected
  • The guys hate how the referees are always the focus in Rockets games between the cynical play of Howard and James Harden
  • The pod gets back to its roots by discussing young adult fiction. Duncan watched Insurgent, CT is excited to watch Mockingjay, Part 1 on Amazon Prime
  • The Oklahoma City Thunder smashed the Wizards
  • Thunder couldn’t miss in the first quarter, any time the Zards would creep back in the game OKC would pour it back on
  • Gene Wojnarowski floats the possibility of Kevin Durant heading to the Golden State Warriors
  • Dave hates Karl Malone
  • Gilbert Arenas admits to credit card fraud on Instagram, has really been going off the rails lately
  • Arenas is like the Frank Abagnale of strip club security
  • “This Week in John Wall”
  • John makes his third All Star Game
  • Dave hasn’t heard from John, wants to hire a skywriter to get his attention
  • CT took a Caribbean history class because he loves pirates
  • Who is the most swashbuckling member of the Warriors?
  • Wednesday is looking to be a night similar to Kobe Bryant’s final time in D.C.
  • Duncan went to a Capitals game and was reminded of the stark disparity between crowds at the Verizon Center
  • The Wizards February schedule is much more manageable than January

Halfway Point of an Exhausting Season, Swept by the Celtics and Raptors, Jake Whitacre Reports from Winchester

Today on ZardCast, CT, Dave and Bullets Forever’s Jake Whitacre convene following the Toronto Raptors sweep of the Washington Wizards and examine the state of the team at midseason: Is everyone exhausted yet? Is it time for Randy Wittman to go? Could Alan Anderson return help the Wizards move in the right direction? Are the playoffs but a pipe dream? Later, why Duncan didn’t post for the pod, Dave’s 6-0 at the Verizon Center, Snowzilla talk and what TV show the guys should recap when the season goes off the rails.

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Topics discussed include:

  • The podcast convenes after being swept by the Toronto Raptors
  • Bullets Forever head honcho Jake Whitacre joins the pod
  • Is everyone still hanging on? It’s been an exhausting season
  • Jake says because the WIzards aren’t very good, he isn’t sure how much a coaching change will improve things
  • Making the case against Nene and Marcin Gortat playing together. Does Gortat really need to be spoon fed to do his job?
  • Firing Randy Wittman could be punting on the year
  • A healthy Alan Anderson could help the team realize its early season vision
  • As the point man for all things KD2DC, Jake tells where he’s at with his dream of Kevin Durant coming to D.C.
  • Does Ernie Grunfeld have a back-up plan to Durant?
  • Duncan’s real reasons for not showing up to the pod
  • CT and Dave handle the two man game to discuss two more Wizards games
  • Washington ALSO got swept by the Boston Celtics
  • Bradley Beal’s suffered a broken nose is broken and got concussed. Great evening for the Wizards
  • The Utah Jazz game on Saturday evening was canceled, what were the guys doing when it would’ve been on, during the teeth of the blizzard?
  • An appetizer snowstorm paralyzes D.C. last Wednesday, Wizards get a win over a banged up Miami Heat
  • Dave is at the Heat game, is 6-0 at the Verizon Center this year
  • Record predictions
  • CT gives his bottom five states
  • “This Week in John Wall”
  • Are the Wizards wasting Wall’s prime? The guys say nay
  • Pop Culture Detour
  • Dave wonders what TV show we should recap when the Wizards season goes off the rails?

Beal Back, Flirting with .500, Wall’s Big Week, Wild Halftime Shows, Celeb Guests

Today on ZardCast, CT, Duncan and Dave convene to discuss the tail end of a Washington Wizards win streak, a tough loss to the Boston Celtics and a drubbing by the Portland Trailblazers. Plus: Future celebrity guests, the ZardCast unbeaten streak at Verizon Center is busted, CT goes to Bullets Forever night, Alan Anderson’s excellent beard and style, Eastern Conference standings talk, John Wall wins Eastern Conference player of the week, Pop Culture Detour and much more.

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Topics discussed include:

  • Wizards were riding a win streak, hit .500 and then drop two in a row
  • Wizards undefeated streak when ZardCast is in attendance is busted, CT tries to blame it on Duncan
  • Bradley Beal returns from injury against the Milwaukee Bucks
  • Dave catches CT and his girl smooching before the game
  • The guys have a pizza break
  • Wizards have one of their best offensive games against the Indiana Pacers
  • Indianapolis Star reporter Candance Buckner rips Indiana’s effort in her gamer
  • Whenever Alan Anderson returns, it’ll feel like reinforcements dropped in from the sky
  • John Wall has a monster game against the Boston Celtics, lose a tough one
  • Jae Crowder and Randy Wittman get into it
  • CT attends Bullets Forever night, shoots a free throw on the floor, has a good time
  • It’s Duncan’s dream to participate in a shot contest on the floor
  • Wild halftime shows: Guys flipping each other, jump ropers, baby races
  • Portland Trailbazers kills the Wizards on Martin Luther King Jr. Day
  • Eastern Conference standings look. The Wizards don’t want home court advantage, right?
  • Gortat had some interesting comments regarding the plague of injuries facing the Wizards after practice
  • “This Week in John Wall”
  • Earns an Eastern Conference player of the week award, should be on the All Star team
  • Is in the pool of 30 players for the Olympic team, won’t make it because Coach K
  • Looking at the Wizards next four games
  • Will return next week following the Raptors game
  • Pop Culture Detour: Recommending “The Martian,” “Sicario” and “Orphan Black”